“What Do You Want?”

Turning round, Jesus saw them following and asked, “What do you want?” They said, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?” “Come,” he replied, “and you will see.” So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. John 1:38-39

A Strange god: I wrote this passage in my last posting 4 months ago on 3 April 2015 – Do you have a strange god? – not a disgusting monster but perhaps an unholy nature that controls your life? More than once God has brought me face to face with a strange god in my life, and I knew that I should have given it up, but I didn’t do it. I got through the crisis “by the skin of my teeth,” only to find myself still under the control of that strange god. I am blind to the very things that make for my own peace. It is a shocking thing that we can be in the exact place where the Spirit of God should be having His completely unhindered way with us, and yet we only make matters worse, increasing our blame in God’s eyes.


“What Do You Want?”: On May 23rd I flew 10,000 miles from Kota Kinabalu here in Sabah, Malaysia to Ashville, North Carolina, USA to join Rev Ken Boa at The Billy Graham Training Centre, The Cove, to listen to his 3-day teaching seminar entitled: Growing in Love With God. On the first night after I registered and entered the seminar room, joining 90 other participants from the States and one from Brazil, the first question Ken Boa posed was the very first question that Jesus Himself, at the beginning of his ministry on earth, asked the two disciples following him, “What do you want?” (John 1:38)

I knew that question was directed at me, personally, by Jesus. This was the real, true, one and only living God asking me why I was following after him, having just arrived after a 22 hour flight half way across the world and still recovering from severe jetlag. I was desperately seeking after the heart of God. I was suffering on the inside, broken, alone, trying to make sense of my life and challenges ahead of me. I knew without a shadow of doubt I needed Jesus. Everyone was amazed that I had made a decision to come 10,000 miles just for three days and then return on another 10,000 miles journey back home. I knew I just wanted to be at home with the Lord even if it was for only three days!

The two disciples who were following Jesus wanted most of all to spend time with their Master. They wanted to know where Jesus lived. They spent the whole day with their Lord. This was ‘The Father’s House’. It would have been ‘A House of Prayer’. It would have been a solemn, awesome, holy day of fellowship and oneness with the Lord. I wonder what they saw, what they heard, what they discussed, what they remembered most in that one day with Jesus? What I do know is that they would have seen for themselves that what Jesus did at home was the same as what he did in the temple, doing his Father’s business in his Father’s House. I am sure they would have also found it painfully hard to say ‘Goodbye Lord’ and leave his presence. The two disciples would have given everything if there was room for them to stay the night and grow to know how to love God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.

My Gratitude Journal: A Slice from The Heart – August 7th, 2014: (Please read full Journal in the Archives)


…they found Him in the Temple…And He said to them, ‘…Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” Luke 2: 46, 49

Oswald Chambers writes ‘In My Utmost for His Highest’ August 7: The life of your Lord is to become your vital life, and the way He worked and lived among people while here on earth must be the way He works and lives in you. Are you so closely identified with the Lord’s life that you are continually talking to Him and realizing that everything comes from His hands? Is the Eternal child in you living in His Father’s house? Is the grace of His ministering life being worked out through you in your home, your business, and in your circle of friends? The ONLY abiding reality is God Himself, and His order comes to me moment by moment. Am I continually in touch with the reality of God, or do I pray only when things have gone wrong – when there is some disturbance in my life? I must learn to identify myself closely with my Lord in ways of holy fellowship and oneness that some of us have not yet even begun to learn. “…I must be about My Father’s business” – and I must learn to live every moment of my life in my Father’s house.

What Do I Want? Jesus of Nazareth. And the struggle continues…

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. 1 Peter 2:11

Charles @ The Cove, Ashville, USA - May 26-28, 2015
Charles @ The Cove, Ashville, USA – May 26-28, 2015

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